Radio Silence

I fully planned on posting a blog on the last day of 2024.  I wrote it and everything.  It was titled wrapping up and it was a deep reflection on the joys and challenges of the year.  I wrote it early in the morning, didn’t like the ending, so kept fiddling with the last paragraphs throughout the day.  I was ready to post in the evening, but hit delete, instead of send. It was gone. I decided that it was the universe’s way of telling me that it was time for something new.  The hell with reflections.  

The first thing I did the morning of this new year was to turn on the radio.  The local radio station shut down after seventy-seven years of air play.  I wanted to hear what happens when a radio station disappears.  Static.  I guess that makes sense, but it’s weird.  Even if the local radio station was something to complain about, it was always, always a constant in my life.  I remember figuring out how to turn on the radio in my mother’s big appliance size stereo when I was a kid and I’d listen to the radio while I dusted the house.  I remember listening and listening to catch my favorite song, or a new song everyone was talking about.  Some people had favorite television shows, but I had favorite radio shows.  I loved listening to America’s Top 40 with Casey Kasum and I’d spend a lot of Sundays drawing or painting listening to the radio all day. My love of baseball came from the radio.  When I was in college, I worked for parking services and would drive a truck with only an AM radio.  For whatever reason, it aired all the Cubs games.  I was fascinated with all the statistics and history the announcers shared during the broadcasts. 

I even think radio might have saved my life.  A couple of years ago, when my son was living on the street and I was slowly unraveling and trying to teach in a classroom with a roomful of kids so damaged that every day felt like heading into a war zone, I would listen to the radio on the drive in to work.  The morning show was Kincaid and Dallas which is syndicated out of Atlanta.  The hosts are incredibly upbead and when I first started listening, I seriously thought it was the most inane thing I’d ever heard.  They actually kind of irritated me with their silliness.  I thought, people have real problems, and these people are getting paid to talk about nothing.  At the same time, they genuinely sounded so happy and like they were having the time of their lives.  Who doesn’t want that?  One morning I actually laughed at one of their jokes and I realized that I was drawing strength from their positivity.  So when my friend texted me while I was on my skipping Christmas road trip that the radio was going off the air, I had a moment of panic.  Maybe I could buy the radio station?  How does radio even work?  How does it make money?  Advertising, I guess.  Clearly, me buying the radio station wouldn’t work.  I am sure I couldn’t afford to buy a radio station, and I wouldn’t like it anyway.  Too many haters. That would bother me.  

The radio station that I have listened to for fifty-five years is done.  I know I  can still listen to the radio; I even know Kincaid and Dallas are on CAT country.   I just really hate endings, it feels like death.  But I’m working on embracing new beginnings and finding the opportunities in growth.  My friends have been telling me that my blog would be great with video and narration.  I I don’t know about that though.  Making videos and coming up with a narration is a lot tougher than jotting down a few paragraphs.  I am not even sure I have enough content to make this work, but I guess, I’m just going to take a risk and see where it goes.  So here’s to new beginnings in 2025.