Progress?

I went to the periodontist the day before Thanksgiving. He appeared alarmed at the blood and pus still happening in my mouth. He poked and prodded and squeezed and then gave me new prescriptions for different antibiotics. I woke up on Thanksgiving day and the swelling was worse and my gum was more red and inflamed than before the surgery. The pain was deep in my jaw and radiated up through my eye. I tried to watch The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade anyway.

I grew up in a house with one television and I liked books better, so I usually just watched the things other people in my family were watching, but I always loved the parade. I’d drag my blanket out to the den to watch the crowds all bundled up in New York City watching the giant balloons. A few years ago, I caught a behind the scenes look at how the parade was made and I realized all the art that goes into the floats. There are people who work for the parade all year long. That sounds amazing. I would love to try that. One day, I am going to that parade and I will be one of those people bundled up waving in the background. But my pain definitely distracted me from enjoying the event this year.

I felt bad for Shayne. Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday. He devours stuffing and pie. There was no way I was cooking, and even though we had invites, he doesn’t like going places without me. Earlier in the week, Shayne got a lock box for his medicine. All the meds are put into slots and then a timer is set and the box alarms when it is time to take the doses. The alarm is shrill and doesn’t turn off until the med slot is opened. Now, theoretically, it doesn’t mean that Shayne has to take the meds. He could remove the pills and throw them away, or shove them in his sock drawer. But it gives him consistency that he hasn’t had before. And it’s given me a small glimmer of hope. I am shocked that I can still have a sense of hope about this illness, but I guess deep, deep down I still believe that life can be better for him.

So anyway, Shayne decided to go to a relatives, even if I stayed home. He was making a salad and he started narrating the proper way to cut up a bell pepper. I was laughing. It’s been so long since he has done something funny that I forgot about what a great sense of humor he used to have.

I woke up still in a lot of pain. And the day after Thanksgiving brings a realization that I will be going back to work in a few days, and I have a lot to prep and how in the world is that going to happen? Shayne brought me a smoothie in bed and called it–healing potion. He said the swelling seems a bit better, more like I have a wad of chew in my mouth, instead of a wad of acorns. I couldn’t help but smile. Maybe the lock box is working for him? Maybe my new antibiotics are kicking in? I am cautiously optimistic.