Shady

I want to my doctor yesterday. He was sick. So I tried to make a dermatologist appointment. December was the earliest I could be seen. So I went to urgent care. It was closed, BUT, the sign said it was reopening, so I sat in the parking for thirty minutes and waited. I knew if I left I probably wouldn’t go back.

The urgent care guy looked at my ankle and said the growth needed to be lanced off and biopsied. He said he thought it might be a reaction to the dye in the tattoo. He said he would send me to a dermatologist. I told him I had called that place and was told I’d have to wait until January. He said the referral would get me in faster. I took the paperwork he gave me and went home.

The floor guy was gone. He has sanded everything and he put the finish on the space where the stove will go. It is going to look freaking fantastic. While I was standing there admiring it, there was a knock on the door and Shayne poked his head in.

About a month ago, Shayne was in Pueblo with me at school. He waited in the parking lot while I ran up to my classroom to drop something off. I heard on the two way radio, “There’s a shady guy just walking around in the parking lot and I am afraid to get out of my car.” I knew it was Shayne they were talking about and I went down immediately to diffuse the situation.

Now that I have been working on the East side for a bit, I know why people are leery of skinny, homelessy, unkempt people. I was driving home the other day and a man was standing in the middle of the street with all his belongings fallen all around him. I stopped and asked him if he was okay. He turned real quick and shouted, “Are you fucking okay?” I could see the glint in his eyes and I knew instantly that there were a million voices shouting in his brain. But I also knew it probably wasn’t a good idea to get out of the car and help either. I drove away, but on some level it hasn’t left me. He could have easily been my son.

Anyway, Shayne has cleaned himself up and is back on meds. I fixed up the sunroom as a fourth bedroom and I am letting him stay there until the garage apartment is built. I am uneasy about this choice. I am not ready for another rollercoaster ride and I don’t know what is worse, wondering if is okay, or living with the uncertainty of his instability.

So many things in my life have changed in the past month or two. I really don’t know where this journey is taking me, but I am trying my best to believe that everything will work out for the best.